Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize