I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
