Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize