Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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