genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
