shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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