All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
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