i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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