I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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