I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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