she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
