And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Randomize
