are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
