We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize