put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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