Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
