Pappa wants mamma naked
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
