she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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