I hate all girls vehemently.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
