birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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