Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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