he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I just gargled with NyQuil
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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