I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
