Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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