better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
