There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
