Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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