the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
