Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Is it because I queefed?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
