I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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