ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
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come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize