Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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