We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
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yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
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It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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