I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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