I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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