I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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