just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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