i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
is wine microwaveable?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize