You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Screwed.edu
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
