dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
