I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
