she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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