I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
