oh god the rape fog is back!
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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