once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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