Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
