remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
