your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
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