she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize