since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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