Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
