And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
