Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
