U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
