I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Woke up backwards on a recliner
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
