I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
