I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
