Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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