4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
