yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
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All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
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you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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