i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
