it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
