I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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