$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
