Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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