i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
