good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
