I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
