And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
