So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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