Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
