come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
