I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
