Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(607): View more from New York

I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me

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(530): View more from California

Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake

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(503): View more from Oregon

And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms

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(917): View more from New York City

Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.

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21 Sketchy Drug Deals That Are Scary AF
Read it at the TFLN blog
(410): View more from Maryland

halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt

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(757): View more from Virginia

is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?

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(406): View more from Montana

You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways

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(319): View more from Iowa

I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.

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(518): View more from New York

Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.

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