butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
