Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I want to kish your cheek

  (248): View more from Michigan

  My cheeks are in Michigan

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Oh my lips are kind of stretchy

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): I want to kish your cheek (248): My cheeks are in Michigan (301): Oh my lips are kind of stretchy http://tfl.nu/4fba
  Replies (4) Good night (2067) Bad night (752)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever. http://tfl.nu/26l9
  Replies (23) Good night (7258) Bad night (882)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself. http://tfl.nu/c54w
  Replies (57) Good night (901) Bad night (5484)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat http://tfl.nu/bqtg
  Replies (40) Good night (5638) Bad night (1232)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  what you doin?

  (516): View more from New York

  I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?

  (631): View more from New York

  reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): what you doin? (516): I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you? (631): reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life http://tfl.nu/6c83
  Replies (20) Good night (5580) Bad night (1585)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down. http://tfl.nu/xg1z
  Replies (7) Good night (5848) Bad night (1951)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes. http://tfl.nu/ocj3
  Replies (23) Good night (5692) Bad night (3344)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary. http://tfl.nu/0qxf
  Replies (19) Good night (2961) Bad night (5924)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know. http://tfl.nu/dzr5
  Replies (15) Good night (6976) Bad night (1177)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was. http://tfl.nu/tfbm
  Replies (5) Good night (683) Bad night (1783)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon http://tfl.nu/2kt0
  Replies (12) Good night (1835) Bad night (695)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off. http://tfl.nu/qi2a
  Replies (16) Good night (2038) Bad night (1145)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer http://tfl.nu/wxzh
  Replies (3) Good night (1257) Bad night (581)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding http://tfl.nu/mji7
  Replies (3) Good night (320) Bad night (861)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough http://tfl.nu/hw2m
  Replies (0) Good night (423) Bad night (299)

Randomize