Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(602): View more from Arizona

i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...

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(602): i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number... http://tfl.nu/4ee1

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(770): View more from Georgia

Tell her she's as useless as a condom.

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(770): Tell her she's as useless as a condom. http://tfl.nu/5gza

Replies (37) Good night (1166) Bad night (2600)
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(647): View more from Ontario

I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum

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(647): I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum http://tfl.nu/wnzc

Replies (32) Good night (803) Bad night (4078)
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(352): View more from Florida

I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy

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(352): I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy http://tfl.nu/uxjr

Replies (18) Good night (4281) Bad night (752)
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(716): View more from New York

Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.

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(716): Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time. http://tfl.nu/ytyv

Replies (79) Good night (7533) Bad night (1547)
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(763): View more from Minnesota

It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.

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(763): It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo. http://tfl.nu/heh2

Replies (22) Good night (7152) Bad night (1490)
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(917): View more from New York City

she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in

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(917): she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in http://tfl.nu/g0n5

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(613): View more from Ontario

I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.

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(613): I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line. http://tfl.nu/g6vr

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(530): View more from California

I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will

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(530): I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will http://tfl.nu/u061

Replies (4) Good night (3541) Bad night (839)
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(512): View more from Texas

Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.

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(512): Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom. http://tfl.nu/t8hh

Replies (13) Good night (746) Bad night (2192)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?

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(414): Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that? http://tfl.nu/owak

Replies (11) Good night (1738) Bad night (1151)
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(319): View more from Iowa

Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable

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(319): Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable http://tfl.nu/cclu

Replies (15) Good night (662) Bad night (4397)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.

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(412): The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked. http://tfl.nu/s0us

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker

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(506): The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker http://tfl.nu/zneu

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."

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(401): I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks." http://tfl.nu/iwi5

Replies (6) Good night (1249) Bad night (361)

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