After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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