Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...

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  (202): if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess... http://tfl.nu/v82v
  Replies (10) Good night (1180) Bad night (2717)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex

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  (312): Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex http://tfl.nu/n8r5
  Replies (20) Good night (4291) Bad night (462)
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  (631): View more from New York

  You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.

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  (631): You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk. http://tfl.nu/huyr
  Replies (9) Good night (6034) Bad night (762)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper

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  (203): his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper http://tfl.nu/7n4i
  Replies (55) Good night (27811) Bad night (1471)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help

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  (423): I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help http://tfl.nu/q44r
  Replies (22) Good night (3652) Bad night (1420)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.

  (1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Your godly.

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  (403): Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation. (1-403): Your godly. http://tfl.nu/7li2
  Replies (13) Good night (4136) Bad night (1004)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD

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  (404): I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD http://tfl.nu/5vxn
  Replies (20) Good night (834) Bad night (5717)
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  (415): View more from California

  He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished

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  (415): He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished http://tfl.nu/a96t
  Replies (7) Good night (2401) Bad night (509)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation

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  (703): Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation http://tfl.nu/67qo
  Replies (14) Good night (2078) Bad night (625)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical

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  (250): We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical http://tfl.nu/vxcf
  Replies (8) Good night (1739) Bad night (387)
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  (707): View more from California

  As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.

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  (707): As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment. http://tfl.nu/opoe
  Replies (5) Good night (815) Bad night (368)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Bouncers are people too...giant angry people

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  (507): You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night (815): Bouncers are people too...giant angry people http://tfl.nu/aryb
  Replies (3) Good night (1196) Bad night (355)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle

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  (516): Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle http://tfl.nu/gy3s
  Replies (2) Good night (964) Bad night (260)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.

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  (952): I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face. (952): Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him. http://tfl.nu/f0ba
  Replies (3) Good night (489) Bad night (174)
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  (212): View more from New York

  My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.

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  (212): My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon. http://tfl.nu/pnvy
  Replies (3) Good night (435) Bad night (231)

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