Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
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