I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
